Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Kurban

The masterpiece dumb shit movie of 2009.
Well i took all the pain in watching this crap coz of the Reviews and I am wondering how much they were paid.

"I am a prof at New York university who marries a stranger after making out with him in the staff room(btw I am right now in Delhi University so that we can meet) and take him to US and get him a job in New york Uni. Guess what - they even created a new course for him on Islam just bcoz he suggested so in the interview and yeah he can totally teach in Hindi. Oh and we move to a terrorist neighborhood where i see a dead body and hear about their plan to bomb a flight carrying UN delegates. Damn my stranger husband is a member of the group ! But guess what he wont kill me. Neither do any of the other terrorists. Ha ha.
And then i call the journalist I just met (who btw dies in the blast) and leave her a message about the plan. Well thou I am a prof at Newyork Uni apparently I haven't heard off 911. And then her overacting dumb orang utanesque journo boyfriend gets the message and the monkey decides to deal with it himself ! Wow What a bloody engaging thriller we have ! Just like I felt about tashan.
So my terrorist husband roams around inspite of FBI having his pics, hey they have Osamas pics. And the dumb boyfriend journo is taken in the terrorist group bcoz he says America is wrong in my husbands Islamic class. And the best thing, thou I am under house arrest(can't kill me guys!), the Terrorist wives take me out shopping when I get bored and even when she is not around I choose not to escape. And the dumb journo boyfriend was waiting at the mall for me thou he had no clue if I were dead or alive. What a smart plot !
And then I give a call to the dumb journo bf from my gynecs room and heres y he cant call the police. Thou they havent planted any bombs yet they are planning to do so and it is very important that I get the map in the terrorist husbands study thou no one knows how the dumb bf found that out . Not that I am tied or something but I cant get it w/o having sex with terrorist husband so that he s convinced and thats y the very pivotal and integral-to-the-story (as if we have one, KJo just happen to have a lot of money) backless scene. What?
And how smart of me to write the places in a chit and pass it with coffee cup to the Dumb bf, so that he can call 911 and inform. how bloody thrilling. Oh and FBI takes weeks to get the full face of the next door dead chic thou exactly half of the face is perfectly intact(miracle! see it to believe it) with make up still on - I wonder which brand she is using she died probably a month ago and after that was in an explosion. And the smartass my terrorist husband is he had left no evidence to find her identity so they instead have to develop her full face and then post her pics everywhere. (Guess they could not develop my terrorist husbands photos like they can use it only in presentations). Oh but despite my smart moves the dumb bf called FBI and asked him to meet alone tomo morn instead of giving the location or any useful info. But as viewers would not have guessed by now plan is preponed to tomo.
OMG the dumb bfs identity is revealed in train and there is a shoot out and somehow no one calls 911 so my terrorist husband gets in a long convo with the dumb bf and somehow he manages to change his mind Wow.
And sends the dumbo to save my ass oh we ladies were carrying bombs which was the master plan which for some unknown reason the head terrorist reveals to my terrorist husband. So finally after all the 2.5hr torture dumb bf remembers 911 and informs them and no Its not over,turns out they are as dumb.They take the help of the dumbest ass ever journo bf while terrorist husband saves me." Kickass !

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