Pages

Showing posts with label My adventures with movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My adventures with movies. Show all posts

Monday, August 23, 2010

Aisha

Well some movies are like - one look and u get that gut feeling - man this is gonna suck. Like when it is a Yash raj movie set in Punjab, Akshay Kumar is the hero, it's Bhandarkars take on reality, Anil Kapoor producing the movie showcasing Sonam Kapoor's wardrobe. The last one is Aisha.

Why would any one want to watch Sonam Kapoor in branded clothes wearing LOreal lip gloss. Well I see enough of that already. Why make a movie for that. It has a great supporting cast - Abhay Deol is just so lovable as Arjun Burman, Aishas best friend Pinky, her pet project Shefali, foolish Randhir Gambhir everyone else is just perfect in their part. And then there is Sonam Kapoor. Rather there is Sonam and more Sonam and then even more Sonam, so much so that i started wondering why she din't play all the roles in the movie.

Hello everyone I am Aisha, My dad produced this movie revolving around me to give my soo-not-happening career a boost. So everyone in the movie has nothing to do except dance to my tunes. Well these people are just there to revolve around me and my so not happening life pretty much like my real life career. So after setting up Maasi, I see the comic-relief-guy-friend Randhir spilling drink over Shefali and decide to make a match out of it. Yes thats how whimsical and jobless I am - I am doing something for Animals or something when I am not poking my nose into every one else' affairs, btw focus on wardrobe. So I spend some of my dads money and give the girl a make over (well guess who spent dads money and got a make over after Delhi-6 and Sawariya) and try to set her up one by one with guys I find not good enough for myself. Obviously every guy in the movie is there to fall for me. But I love my childhood friend. Ofcourse he too loves me but for no particular reason he keeps flaunting the hot chick by his side through out the movie till she decides to marry the hunk. Best friend marries comic relief guy and Shefali her old sweet heart and aal izz well. Everything is just so convenient and I get some job. So what was the point - yea I own almost as good a collection as the Sex and the City team.

Despite its wafer thin plot, Aisha is not a bad film, just that it is a Sonam Kapoor film. And she is no Alicia Silverstone.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Laaga Chunari Main Daag

This one sure was expected to be an adventurous venture after all the reviews i had heard. But hey, it was hilarious, the trouble being it was so not intended to be. Well how hard it is to make a movie about a serious issue like Prostitution and make u laugh. Almost impossible, that was before LCMD.

So there is Vibhavari and Shubhavari - such different names - two happy sisters affectionately called Badki and Chutki, living in a palace in Banaras. Oh btw they are very poor. All they have is the palace and a coughing father and a sewing mother and yes evil relatives. They are happy singing the wonderful 'hum to aise hai bhaiya'.

But the Palace needs to paint, who else but Badki - the son Daddy could not have - goes to Mumbai to make enough money, while Chutki does her MBA. So everyone Badki meets is bad, how sad. No job and no place to live, she takes the only path left - one a Son would not be able to take - Prostitution. And soon they are rich enough not just to paint but to redo the interiors of the palace, 'Marble flooring' she says. Ofcourse now she is a diva with her own place in Mumbai like normal call girls u see. So Chutki joins Badki in the bad city. Ahh and the inevitable happens - realization that her sis is a call girl. And a stunned Chutki says 'u r so great'. Oh so surprisingly Badkis flame happens to be the badka of Chutkis fiancee, who on hearing the truth that Badki is a call girl says - 'u r so pure'. and thus ends the journey of a woman. Arey o yashraj, kitne writers the.

Honestly when I laugh at movies I somewhere feel bad that so many people has put in so much effort. But this one, they didn't even bother.

Atleast the movie made me realize how good an actress Konkona is, she managed to make Chutki likeable. The rest is laughable.






Tuesday, July 20, 2010

IHLS

Simply put IHLS is a bad movie. but its hard to hate Candy floss. Especially K Jo brand candy floss. He made a very sweet KKHH entirely out of it. And it is hard to not use cute with anything associated with KKHH except the story which is pure Bullshit btw.
IHLS is a much younger first cousin, so we have a damn cute Imran Khan as the cynical Jay and decent looking Sonam as the romantic Simran, and Ketan Dave as Jays HIMYM-Barneysque best friend who gets all the catchy one liners and almost manages to steal the show right under Imran's cuteness. Honestly Imran is not a great actor nor a good dancer and that shows. But when u r that cute who cares. Imagine Imran and Kats and the cuteness overflow. Again Sonam is a misfit in all those hip contemporary Ts and shorts. And to think someone dared to produce a movie revolving around her - bravo Paa !
I don't see much reason to take IHLS seriously. Except the spoof on K Jo there's nothing original. Well the whole movie seems like a spoof of Chopra-Johar brand of film making with all scenes giving a deja-vu. If only makers also decided to not take it seriously it would have been much better.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Raavan

Here is the deal. 5 minutes into the movie, Sita is kidnapped. That was quick, Can't wait to see the rest of the movie, I thought, but I had to, for a flat 100 minutes.

Meanwhile Sita jumps off a waterfall and it is captured so beautifully, u r awestruck by the cinematography and the exotic beauty of Athirapally waterfalls , but by the third time it is shown u just think she hit a tree and she s just fine..
Then
Sita shrieks, Beera makes faces, Ram shoots/runs/wears sunglasses, again and then again and then again..
Get up take a walk - Sita is shrieking Beera is making faces and Ram is shooting/running.
Take a nap - hey Govinda is Tarzan, and
Sita is still shrieking Beera is still making faces and Ram is still shooting/running.

Time : Infinity
Flashback : Sita is dancing, again dancing then again dancing, no more I wonder why Ram is not missing Sita.
Beera has fallen for Sita seeing her jump down the waterfall.
Flashback : Surpanakha is pulled by her nose, humiliated and commits suicide. So it's a revenge saga. Sita lowers her shrieking decibels. But why is Beera running a parallel govt, Is he a tribal/naxalite/maoist. Oh nothing matters just take this thing forward.

Tarzan meets Sita, just like that, my guess - they have run out of locations. So bring on the climax.

Ram kills Beera's bro. Ram is ruthless, get the point.

Ram and Beera fight,
Beera lets Ram go & sets Sita free. So much for the revenge !
There it is - Ram asked Sita to take Polygraph test. Just when u thought this can't get any worse.

There is a promising idea, a bolder Sita who refuses to take Agnipareeksha. Plus amazing cinematography, Priya Mani, Ravi Kissan, But the fact is all these can't make a good movie unless there is proper script and screen play. Like those in-love-antics-of ash abhi around release time. But not any less boring.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Raajneeti

Mahabharat + Godfather garnished with 'widow-sympathy-votes' Madam angle - all the excellence of the above mentioned sources of inspiration .

Strangely I kind of enjoyed the movie (in the time of Kites, Raajneeti is pretty much Godfather), especially the first half. Second half is an outright remake of Godfather - with a lot of scenes giving a sense of Deja vu. And then from a hurried meeting between Kunti and her Jyesht Putr to the climax a steep fall. Adapting the war for power to election in current scenario is a commendable move, but politicians shooting each other in public! Well the only plausible explanation seems to be that Jha realized its 3 hrs and has to end the movie. So boom dhish dhish dhish ..

Once the movie starts revolving too much around Ranbir Kapoor's Micheal Corleone it goes down and downer - why the American Girlfriend - cut her and 5 min well saved. One remarkable aspect is almost all the roles demand only a single expression from the actor hence everyone manages to give a decent acting wala feeling. Like Ajay Devgan makes that 'Angry young(now old) man side angle face' (considering his role, that might well have been his natural expression on the sets) through out and very well he is playing an angry man. Arjun Rampal couldn't manage any expression but he made Khadi look hawtt. Bajpai managed to hold on do a decent Duryodhan-esque expression even in those shiny suits. Ranbir's overworking PR has done a very good job in hyping a decent performance - his tally of 2 expressions (in each half) is next only to Nana. Nana smiles , scratches his head , smiles wickedly , becomes serious and not eccentric - and he does it well. Kat looked bad in first half(whoever put that big bindi on her face hates her) but made up in the second half once she came in simple cotton sarees. But the worst job in acting department was done by Kunti who looks younger than her sons with the exception of Ranbir and her wooden expression-ed son that is Rampal.

Still recommending as this is the best I have seen this year.

Jodha Akbar

It is common knowledge that Madhur Bhandarkar watches a lot of - Sansani khez khabarein. And after watching JA I have a strong feeling that Ashutosh Gowarikar is a Star Plus watcher, and he missed Kyunki so much that he remade it in 70 mm.

Kyunki had a poor priest's daughter getting married to the scion of a super rich Biz family with a vile m-i-l and loving grand m-i-l and then misunderstandings and clearing misunderstandings.. Then hero almost dies and comes back and that's where I stopped. Replace the leads with a Hindu Princess and a mighty Muslim Emperor, add a Jealous step bro, few fight scenes and then gladiator-ish climax in an agonizingly slow pace and u get Jodha Akbar. Not that slow is always bad, Remember Swades or even Lagaan. Its just that it is plain boring (with the exception of a bare Torso Akbar) when u can predict the movie.. even the dialogues.

To me the movie faltered because it was made with an intent to be epic, unlike when the script has potential and it showed. First they add grandeur, The mighty Mughal Emperor - Akbar, Rajputani Princess - Jodha (apparently his D-I-L so much for all the research while making a historical). So there is scope for a 'Hindu - Muslim' 'Poor Girl - Rich Boy' 'Values' love story. Then make it more epic - Take 2 amazing specimens of human beauty, add some war sequences from Hollywood and some greatness of Akbar. And yawnnnnnn..

PS: How about a love triangle between Akbar and 2 of his 999 wives. May be Kat can be the other wife. And keep the prettiness intact.

Sex and the City

Rise and Shine - I told the lil feminist in me !! Not the men bashing proud-to-be-hairy type. The uber cool chic type..
Yea I know I am like a decade behind cool or chic or uber. But its the idea - chicks rock. Men If u have cars, we have fashion. The movie or the series rather celebrates single woman, go out and enjoy And while u r at it, search for love. Instead of waiting for love hope/end-lessly and do nothing except dote on the boss. Get a life Catherine Heigel or rather a script writer!

I always liked the idea : Chics can be perfectly happy too, I mean I am married to the man just perfect for me. My issue is with the idea that woman can't have fun. Like if a woman is single, she is miserable and needy. But if a man is single, he is a playboy and awesome.

Fashion tops my favorite part of the movie. Then the idea. A chick flick is normally a love-lone desperate chick and how she finds love. Yes SATC has Carrie and Big (it's produced by Carrie after all),but SATC is about Carrie and friends. No cinematic greatness Its just awesome chicness over all. The sexy Sam is definitely the best or most entertaining about SATC. Workaholic cynical Miranda. These women exist and enjoy. These are the characters which add that X factor. But still only Sam and Miranda might not be able pull it off. Play safe - add a little homeliness and the producer. And then it's so great to see that they are in 40s and still having so much fun.. So forget the movie and enjoy the chicness.

So here s To fashion and To women ! Feel Good.

Kites

It is movies like Kites that make watching movies adventurous. After all who could expect this from Basu after 'Life in a Metro'. To be fair to Basu, Kites is soo Koyla, and has Rakesh Roshan written all over it. Just very expensive.

There is that customary 'No resemblance to anyone living or dead'. Really? Who ever thought a movie like Kites would resemble anything real. Take this - J has had 11 fake marriages to get Green Card for immigrants. And the richest man in Vegas accepts his daughters dance instructor to be the S-I-L just with a question You love my daughter don't u (Was he by any chance Gay). How sweet. And then the (supposedly) romantic music in the backdrop of deadly chases.

The most innovative part of the movie was Kangana's dance in the beginning. Surprise - she can dance. And then add some funny accent by Hrithik - not heard before. And yeah Barbara can act Hrithik can't (but he kind of vibrates when emotes). And he looks so awesome that he managed to look hot even in some totally Gay costumes.

Just a thought why didn't they show Kabir Bedi as the US President. Anyway watch it for a 80s bollywood experience and a few unintentional laughs.

Kurban

The masterpiece dumb shit movie of 2009.
Well i took all the pain in watching this crap coz of the Reviews and I am wondering how much they were paid.

"I am a prof at New York university who marries a stranger after making out with him in the staff room(btw I am right now in Delhi University so that we can meet) and take him to US and get him a job in New york Uni. Guess what - they even created a new course for him on Islam just bcoz he suggested so in the interview and yeah he can totally teach in Hindi. Oh and we move to a terrorist neighborhood where i see a dead body and hear about their plan to bomb a flight carrying UN delegates. Damn my stranger husband is a member of the group ! But guess what he wont kill me. Neither do any of the other terrorists. Ha ha.
And then i call the journalist I just met (who btw dies in the blast) and leave her a message about the plan. Well thou I am a prof at Newyork Uni apparently I haven't heard off 911. And then her overacting dumb orang utanesque journo boyfriend gets the message and the monkey decides to deal with it himself ! Wow What a bloody engaging thriller we have ! Just like I felt about tashan.
So my terrorist husband roams around inspite of FBI having his pics, hey they have Osamas pics. And the dumb boyfriend journo is taken in the terrorist group bcoz he says America is wrong in my husbands Islamic class. And the best thing, thou I am under house arrest(can't kill me guys!), the Terrorist wives take me out shopping when I get bored and even when she is not around I choose not to escape. And the dumb journo boyfriend was waiting at the mall for me thou he had no clue if I were dead or alive. What a smart plot !
And then I give a call to the dumb journo bf from my gynecs room and heres y he cant call the police. Thou they havent planted any bombs yet they are planning to do so and it is very important that I get the map in the terrorist husbands study thou no one knows how the dumb bf found that out . Not that I am tied or something but I cant get it w/o having sex with terrorist husband so that he s convinced and thats y the very pivotal and integral-to-the-story (as if we have one, KJo just happen to have a lot of money) backless scene. What?
And how smart of me to write the places in a chit and pass it with coffee cup to the Dumb bf, so that he can call 911 and inform. how bloody thrilling. Oh and FBI takes weeks to get the full face of the next door dead chic thou exactly half of the face is perfectly intact(miracle! see it to believe it) with make up still on - I wonder which brand she is using she died probably a month ago and after that was in an explosion. And the smartass my terrorist husband is he had left no evidence to find her identity so they instead have to develop her full face and then post her pics everywhere. (Guess they could not develop my terrorist husbands photos like they can use it only in presentations). Oh but despite my smart moves the dumb bf called FBI and asked him to meet alone tomo morn instead of giving the location or any useful info. But as viewers would not have guessed by now plan is preponed to tomo.
OMG the dumb bfs identity is revealed in train and there is a shoot out and somehow no one calls 911 so my terrorist husband gets in a long convo with the dumb bf and somehow he manages to change his mind Wow.
And sends the dumbo to save my ass oh we ladies were carrying bombs which was the master plan which for some unknown reason the head terrorist reveals to my terrorist husband. So finally after all the 2.5hr torture dumb bf remembers 911 and informs them and no Its not over,turns out they are as dumb.They take the help of the dumbest ass ever journo bf while terrorist husband saves me." Kickass !

Happy Days / Ritu

Some movies make u think - inspires u some way or the other and some make u laugh not exactly bcoz they were intended to.. And some make u do both, having been there u wonder, Really?

Both the movies are cliched - full of stereotypes, but one has a fresh feeling to it and the other is jaded, but way too free time made these stay with me.Well subjects are the eternal campus/corporate life, but then this is about my generation(yea i am no more part of the current gen). But am v much part of the target audience : been there or aspiring to be there (no points in guessing i belong to the former). Still cherishing college life, but never shuns the same here. (instead i think about the next appraisal when i meet a new colleague).

HD is the cute feel good movie. The pretty gal cute guy friendship-misunderstandings-fights-makeup-love story, loser realizing the not-so-hot-always-there-chic is the one for him in the end, ditching friends only to find they are still there.. And everyone is happy at the end of 4 yrs ! Such a wonderful world. But the colorful treatment, teens playing teens for a change and keeping it simple works.

Whereas Ritu is the pretentious realistic movie. A hero who chooses to hold on to old times and values inspite of being in IT , A heroine / sec hero who are lost in the hot and happening IT world only to regret later. Infact the movie portrays IT as the lucrative evil world sucking in innocents and churning out partying and flirting obsessed deprived-of-all-values corporates. No the director is not Madhur-realistic-Bhandarkar. Its our v own Shayamaprasad inspired this time not by classic plays/novels. After page 3, corporate, fashion, jail Bhandarkar might be running out of background premises. Why cant he just stop making movies !

So drifting from HD to Ritu to Bhandrakar and some nostalgic moments later I realized, 1 whole day is over. Mission accomplished !